The Bane of the Cult of Gallifrey
'"The Bane of the Cult of Gallifrey" '''is the birthday special episode and the 141st episode overall. It is technically included in the episode list for ''Battlefield, though it is not considered a seventh season episode. It was told and narrated by Rhys, premiering on March 2, 2015. This was the last episode to feature Rhys as regular storyteller. Starting with the following episode, storytelling duties were assumed by Mets the Mailman. Rhys would return to narrate several of the 2016 Specials. In the episode, Mets the Mailman takes Deeba into the past to save the original Cult of Gallifrey from an alien attack. . The Episode SPACE MOUNTAIN FIVE YEARS AFTER BATTLEFIELD Deeba walked outside to the mailbox. Simon was cooking pancakes in the kitchen. He was humming an Imagine Dragons song. Deeba looked up at the sky; it was cloudless and peaceful. Deeba opened the mailbox. There was only one letter addressed to her. She read it on the sidewalk. "Behind the garage," it read. Deeba groaned. She tore up the note and threw it in the trash can. She then walked around her garage. "Hello!" Mets the Mailman said, leaning on his TARDIS, "Happy birthday!" "Thanks," Deeba said, "Where's Ethan?" "Rome," Mets said, "Or, rather, the Roman Empire. I'm going to collect him tomorrow. He's on holiday." "A holiday in the Roman Empire?" Deeba said, "Shouldn't you be there to protect him?" Mets frowned. "Ethan is fully capable of handling himself." "Ah," Deeba said, "Good to know. Why are you here?" Mets opened his arms to Deeba. "Can't I give you a birthday hug?" Deeba hesitated. There was something off about this. The last time she saw Mets, he and Ethan were leaving the Cult of Gallifrey last year. The wedding between the two was to take place next month. "Do you need wedding money?" Deeba asked, "Is that why you've come?" Mets looked insulted. "Excuse you, madame," he said, "I'm not here for money." "Then why are you here?" Deeba asked, crossing her arms. Mets sighed obnoxiously. "If you MUST know, and clearly you do, I've encountered a certain issue with which I need assistance. I don't want to pull Ethan from his vacation for something so...trivial...but I thought you might be able to help me." "Help you?" Deeba said, "With what?" Mets smiled. "About sixty years in your past, there is a certain alien threat I need to rectify. It could endanger the future of mankind." Deeba waved her hand. "Forget it, Mets. It's my birthday. Simon is taking me to Red Lobster." "I thought you'd say that," Mets said, "which is why I think you should know the target of this threat." Deeba lifted her eyebrows. Mets grinned. "Your great-grandmother and her Cult of Gallifrey." Deeba stared. Gallifreyan? Threatened? By...aliens? That was certainly a tale left out of Storytime by Niall Oficiali. The thought, though, of meeting her great-grandmother... "You can't handle it on your own?" Deeba asked. Mets shook his head. "It's complicated," he said. "How long would it take?" Deeba asked. Mets tapped his watch. "I'll have you home in time for lobster!" Deeba cast a glance back at her house. She should probably tell Simon... "Tick tock, Deebo!" Mets said, "Make a decision!" Deeba felt a smile creep onto her face. "SHOTGUN!" she cried and darted into the TARDIS. Mets hooted and started up the controls. The console began to move... TARDIS "Don't touch that!" Mets snapped when Deeba leaned in to inspect a round, purple button. The TARDIS console room was inundated with artifacts from various parts of the world. And other worlds. A mysterious orange goo-plant near the door was surprisingly ominous. "Where are we going exactly?" Deeba asked. Mets smiled. "The Cult of Gallifrey Headquarters. VMK is only twenty years old at this time. I received a call in Rome. Weird, really. It's been at least four incarnations since I was last in contact with Gallifreyan. But that was her on the phone, much younger than the last time she spoke to me. She said someone forwarded her my number and that she needed an alien specialist." "So Gallifreyan called you for help," Deeba said, "Is that how she knew to call you when she needed help with Xerxes?" "Oh," Mets said, blushing, "I got side-tracked. By several years." "What happened?" Deeba said. Mets looked at her. He was grave. "You'll see." The console stopped moving. They had arrived. Mets snapped upright. "Right then!" he said, "Now, you can't be called Deeba. I'm sure you know why. When we walk into that room..." "Why can't I be called Deeba?" Deeba asked, "That's my name!" "Yes but that's your great-grandmother! She can't know you're her great-granddaughter! You can't..." Mets stopped himself. He narrowed his eyes. "Fine," he said, "Go by Deeba. Just don't go crying to me if it all gets wibbly-wobbly." "Fine," Deeba said. The TARDIS' doors opened. CULT OF GALLIFREY HEADQUARTERS SIXTY YEARS AGO Deeba and Mets exited the TARDIS. It had disguised itself as a penny presser. A woman came up to them immediately. Deeba almost choked; it was Gallifreyan. "Thank you for coming," she said to Mets, "Who is your companion?" Deeba tried to find the words. "This is Deeba," Mets said, "She will be helping me. Now, tell me about the Douleur." Gallifreyan nodded and led the duo down a hallway. "The Douleur came to our headquarters about a week ago. I was the only one not affected. They all have been quarantined inside." "Sorry," Deeba said, "What?" Mets filled her in. A week ago, the Cult of Gallifrey Headquarters was invaded by alien life. The creatures are invisible and instead crawl inside the brain, latching onto the most painful memories. By consuming the emotional pain, the victim achieves an overwhelming sensation of bliss before dying. Because Gallifreyan was caught in traffic, she missed being attacked as well. Instead, she locked the Headquarters to prevent the creatures from escaping. She called the Mailman immediately, having gained his number from a survivor of the Ghost Genocide. "So what do you plan to do?" Gallifreyan said. "Oh," Mets said, "It's simple. Deeba and I are going to go in." "WHAT?!" Deeba cried, "Excuse you? Hell no. HELL NO!" Gallifreyan smiled politely. "You sound like me when I was younger." Deeba tried not to look like she knew that. "And yes Deeba," Mets said, "You and I are going in. Once the Douleur latch onto us, we can fight them. The others don't know how. But I do!" "Great," Deeba said, "Do you we just zap them with electricity?" Mets sighed. He pointed at the door to the headquarters chamber. Gallifreyan procured a key and unlocked the door. "Good luck," she said. Deeba smiled at her great-grandmother. "It was great meeting you." Gallifreyan smiled back. And then the door was sealed. DARK ROOM "Why are the lights out?" Deeba asked. Mets stared at the thirty members of the Cult of Gallifrey strewn across the floor, slumped over furniture. "The Douleur probably sucked the power," Mets said. He took Deeba's hand. "Don't let go of my hand," Mets said, "Ever. We're going in together. When we're there, I'll tell you what to do." "Where are we going?" Deeba asked. Mets looked at Deeba with an expression that legitimately scared her. It was horror. He was terrified. "Our worst memories," Mets said, "You're about to see mine." Deeba's vision suddenly began to cloud. She thought she saw little spider-like creatures filling her vision. She tried to prevent herself from screaming. Soon, even though her eyes were open, all she saw was black. She held onto Mets' hand. And then she felt like she was flying. BLACK WIDOW FARM = Deeba's vision returned. They were on a farm. A familiar looking farm. Deeba recognized it instantly as the farm on which Katarina was raised: Black Widow Farm. And there she was; Katarina was sitting in the field with another woman. Deeba's eyes widened. "Is that..." Mets nodded. "Nanny Kserks. The second Xerxes." "I don't get it," Deeba said, "Why are we here?" "It's my worst memory," Mets said, "The one for which I have the most pain." Deeba watched. From the street came two people. One of them was Mets. The other was a woman. "Who's that?" Deeba asked. Mets said nothing. The woman was holding Mets' hand. She wore a maroon shirt and blue jeans. She wore a gold necklace. She had a bag slung over her shoulder. Deeba wondered if she had seen her before. The two waved at Katarina and the Nanny. "We have your mail!" "NOT NOW!" the Nanny hissed. The woman frowned. "We'll just leave it here then..." The Nanny screamed. Whatever Mets and the woman interrupted must have been very important. The Nanny grabbed a flag stand and charged at Mets and the woman. Mets grabbed the woman and pushed her in front of him. Deeba dropped her jaw; he just used the woman as a shield. The Nanny impaled the woman. Then she killed Mets. She dragged the two to an icebox and stuffed them both inside. She then collected Katarina and brought her inside. The icebox glowed gold as Mets regenerated inside. "WHAT!" Deeba exclaimed, "YOU FREAKING KILLED THAT WOMAN!" But when Deeba turned to Mets, he was sobbing. He was still holding tight to Deeba's hand, but now he was squeezing it. Hard. "Mets," Deeba said softly, "Who was that?" "You recognize her," Mets said between sobs, "You recognize her. From the Game." "Yes," Deeba said, remembering, "But who is she?" "Her name is Jordan," Mets said, "She was my sister. Jordan the Mailwoman" Before Deeba could console him, the scene seemed to reset. Suddenly, Katarina and the Nanny were in the field. Mets and Jordan were approaching the house. "Okay," Deeba said, "What do we do? How do we stop the Douleur?" "We have to break the scene," Mets said, "We have to stop the pain from happening. But I can't do it. That's why we're here together. You can save Jordan. And I." Deeba waited. She watched Jordan and Mets start their conversation with the Nanny. When the Nanny grabbed the flag pole, Deeba ran forward, Mets in hand, and pushed the other Mets and Jordan aside. The Nanny tripped over a plant and faceplanted. Deeba grabbed Jordan's shirt and pulled her toward the exit to the farm. Both Metses followed. When they were clear of the farm, everything disappeared. DARK ROOM Mets and Deeba were back. "The Douleur are getting weaker," Mets said, wiping at his tears, "They travel in families. If one or more get destroyed, as we just did, they weaken together." He coughed. "Your turn," he said, "But this is where it gets complicated." The spiders in the eyes returned and they were whisked away again. GALLIFREY ESTATE The house was on fire. Deeba staggered backward in shock. Mets grabbed firmly to her hand. Deeba watched Anna run outside, holding Elena's hat. She screamed at Anna. The upstairs window broke open and Deeba's brothers started jumping out. All of them were now dead. Of the entire Gallifreyan dynasty, only Deeba survived. Deeba felt the pain accumulate. And then the scene divided. The house filled the right side of her vision, but on the left, she saw Julius, dead, in the Game. She watched innocent people be torn apart by the Necromancer. Gallifrey Estate was in flames. Julius' eyes were glassed over. Douglas was choking on smoke. "My head," Deeba said softly, "I...I can't breathe..." "The Douleur are confused," Mets said somewhere, "you have more than one painful memory. They're trying to latch on, but they can't. I'm sorry, Deeba, but you're going to have to dig deeper. This is why I needed you to come. You have to destroy the Douleur forever. Find the painful memories." Deeba thought of her great-grandmother dying, her grandmother choking on smoke, watching her parents suffocate in the hallway, the Necromancer running free to kill MJENK. And then...then she remembered. THE LIBRARY "46. 45. 44. 43. 42." Deeba knew what came next. "Chair activated." Blake. Sitting in the malignant throne. "BLAKE PLEASE!" past Deeba was screaming below. "It's okay!" Blake was saying, "I knew I would have to do this! Someone told me, very recently, that my love for you would be the thing that'd save you. It'd save everyone." "WHO?!" past and present Deeba screamed together, "WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!" Blake smiled. "You did." "BLAKE I NEVER SAID THAT!" "3. 2. 1." Deeba acted instantly. Mets in hand, she ran down the stairs. "We will always survive!" Blake cried. "Zero." Deeba leapt onto the chair. She, Mets, and Blake were caught in the electricity. Deeba felt the pain; she heard Mets screaming. But she never took her eyes away from Blake. DARK ROOM Someone lifted Deeba. It was Niall. "Are you okay?" she asked. Deeba scrambled to her feet. The members of the Cult of Gallifrey were conversing nervously. Many grabbed their heads. Gallifreyan was talking to Nutty and Rhys. "We did it..." Deeba said. She helped Mets up. "I knew you could," Mets said with a forced smile. "Are you okay?" Niall asked again, "You're crying." Deeba felt her face. Her makeup was everywhere. "Oh," Deeba said, "yeah. Just you know, fighting the Douleur." "Are they gone?" Grant asked. Mets nodded confidently. "They won't disturb you again." Gallifreyan came over and thanked Mets and Deeba. They returned to the TARDIS. TARDIS "Mets," Deeba said, "What happened after Jordan died?" Mets stared down at the console. "I regenerated," he said, "It was taking longer for her. I told her I would avenge her. So I went and killed the Nanny. Cut out her heart. I regret that. Two wrongs don't make a right. Anyway, apparently what we had interrupted was the transfer of the Xerxes. Nanny Kserks had just crowned Katarina as her successor. So Katarina stole the icebox with Jordan inside. The Second Xerxes was dead, but Katarina had the Third Xerxes. I tracked Jordan for over a hundred years. It wasn't until the Game that I had confirmation she was dead." "I'm so sorry," Deeba said, "I had no idea." "No one does," Mets said, "I keep it bottled up. I loved her." Everything was silent for a while. Then Mets slammed his hand on the TARDIS console. "Tell you what Deeba! You helped me out, so I'm going to help you! You get one free trip in the TARDIS anywhere you want! Name it and we're there!" Deeba smiled. THE LIBRARY Deeba found Blake by the fireplace. Everyone else had gone to bed. For him, it was his last night alive. "Hey," Deeba said, trying not to cry. He was here. She was actually in a time when he was alive. "Hey," Blake said, closing his book. He stared at her. "You look older." "Oh," Deeba said, blushing, "It's the lighting." Blake nodded. Deeba saw Mets upstairs, standing in the TARDIS, disguised as a bookcase. He tapped his watch. Deeba took Blake's hand. "Listen, Blake," Deeba said, "I'm sorry we can't be together. I know how much you love me." "Deeba..." "Just listen," Deeba said, "I know it tears you apart to see me with Simon and I do love you, but not in the same way. Very soon, Blake, you're going to save all of us. And you're going to do that with your love for me." Deeba exhaled. It had always been her. She had been the one to ultimately convince him to sit in the chair. His sacrifice was because of her. Deeba kissed Blake. She didn't let him respond. Mets took her home. SPACE MOUNTAIN PRESENT DAY "Thank you," Deeba said to Mets, "for everything. You better go get Ethan before Vesuvius erupts." Mets gave Deeba a hug. As the TARDIS disappeared, Deeba went back to her husband, glad to be home. Production Promotion At the conclusion of "Deception," producers released a trailer for this episode. The video is to the right. It used the music from Hans Zimmer's Angels & Demons soundtrack. The track is titled "H20." Continuity and Story Arcs The woman from the Game was Jordan the Mailwoman from the season 1 episode "Katarina." The scene in which she was killed was reenacted. The person who told Blake to sacrifice himself was Deeba from the future. References Various characters and Storytime events were referenced because of this episode being the final farewell. Trivia *Douleur means "pain" in French. *The theme song resembles the Doctor Who intro. *This is one of the most popular episodes. Producers regard it as one of their greatest triumphs. Category:Episodes Category:Cult of Gallifrey Series Category:Specials